I don’t know, but I want that delay.

I’m intrigued by the Crying Tone. I am a pedalboard user, but the Crying Tone has no moving parts. Will it work on a Pedaltrain, or will it have to stay off the board?

You could, but then you’d have to add some more settings to that knob, like millions. They’d all come out with pictures of Robert Mugabe on them. And, they’d be worth about as much as Z$1,000,000, too. Me? I prefer that quilted paper; it makes me feel cleaner.

I built myself a grotesquely oversized pedalboard out of plywood and pieces of 2×4. It was based on a pallet, and it ultimately didn’t work. To offset the plywood, I painted it with whatever paint I had in my basement, which ended up being samples. I thought it was a pretty good board, but my playing habits changed drastically, so it had to go. I am now looking at a smaller, Pedaltrain-inspired idea, but I’m not shelling out $150 for something that I could do for free, which is how much the first board cost.

Definitely. I’d also be open to: Chicago, Denver, Madison, WI, Milwaukee (also in WI), or Minneapolis.

More recipes:

Polychorus: A contradicting dessert, giving you sweet, spicy, and sour flavors, and airy, soft and smooth textures. A palm-sugar angel-food cake, with a habanero chile, potato vodka, lime, and sour cream dipping sauce.

Freeze: A Mezcal smoothie, with mango, banana and Greek-style yogurt, blended with as fine of texture that ice can give.

HOG: As EHX’s largest and most expensive pedal, it’s only appropriate to use the name for a whole roast pig. Roast potatoes, garlic, pearl onions, wild asparagus and beetroot, to compliment.

English Muff’n: Six of our finest wait-staff will throw one bag each of English muffins at you, while chanting our trademark insult.

I have new dishes:

Crying Tone: Onion soup. A really freaking good onion soup, but an onion soup, all the same.

Hot Tubes: Obviously, stuffed rigatoni. I like a mutton, basil and ricotta stuffing. Maybe a mushroom, walnut, basil and olive oil stuffing would be acceptable, but I’d have to flesh either of them out before passing judgment.

I can’t legally say what a Screaming Tree would be, because the DEA would shut us down.

Sonic Boomer: A stew, made from kangaroo meat (which would be very hard to do, because kangaroo meat has absolutely no cholesterol, and is especially tender), parsnips, rutabagas, and white asparagus. The base liquid would be an Australian bitter; I live in the US, and we only get Foster’s, so that’s right out.

The Silencer: Ribs. Yeah, it sounds rather plain, but I have observed that when ribs are served, all conversation stops. The sauce/glaze would have to include Bourbon (I’d go with the really expensive, low-production stuff that my uncle used to buy), tomato paste, garlic, onions, molasses, honey, black pepper, cayenne, paprika, liquid smoke (three drops), and possibly some thyme. The ribs, by the way, would be the spare ribs, as opposed to the baby backs, because of their fat and collagen content – longer cooking time at a lower temp = AMAZING results. They also have more meat on them, so better value for money.

Golden Throat: I would have to say that the Golden Throat would be a drink – the restaurant’s own rye lager, brewed on the premises, and served as soon as it’s ready (which, for those who brew beer, is about three or four weeks). No preservatives, no Pasteurization, no filtration, no adulteration, of course; we have to keep high standards, you know.

Graphic Fuzz: A pomegranate, añ§ai, and sloe gin smoothie. For the health-conscious drinker. It’s a stupid idea, and I’ll come up with something better in the future.

That’s all for this round of my culinary and verbal nonsense.

Some new additions:

Switchblade – Scotch with a cube of 10-year-old Wisconsin – and ONLY Wisconsin – cheddar in it. Cheese works in a drink; there is a bar in La Crosse, WI, that garnishes their Bloody Marys with Brussels sprouts, a cube of Pepper Jack, and something else I can’t remember. Best bloodys you’ll ever have.

Slapback Echo – Three fingers of Bourbon in one glass, two fingers in a smaller glass, and so on down. Definitely a drink special, never mind the fact that the really powerful Bourbon isn’t particularly cheap.

Ring Thing – A giant basket of onion rings, with a variety of sauces.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t sliding pots far less reliable than rotary?