I like the Frequency Analyzer, which has some – no, all – of those crazy Devo sounds, but it’s not exactly the most versatile ring modulator in the world. Rather than buy the Moog, which has the worst bypass known to man, I’d like to go with an EHX, which comes with forty years of tradition, innovation, and awesome. I know Nicholas Briggs, the guy who voices the Daleks on “Doctor Who,” uses the Moog, and I know, from personal experience, it’s an AMAZING-sounding ring mod, but it’s as big as a Morley wah, it’s heavy, and it’s partially made of wood. Oh, and did I mention that the bypass is non-existent? No? Well, it’s non-existent.

I even have a name for it: the FREQUENCY EXTERMINATOR. Basically, it’s the Stereo Polyphase of ring modulators. It will cost as much as the Polyphase, and EHX will make an expression pedal that works with it, the Polyphase, the Q-Balls pedals, the HOG, and the other pedals that use expression pedals. Analog, Aluminum, and American. I’ll come up with some concept art tonight.